Hello Readers,
I hope you are all having a fine week! I hope you are all joyful and shining like stars of the universe no matter what the time of day this world seems to be in at the moment. So... while working a few days ago, I was thinking about how easy it is to let life's busyness just steal away the joy and brightness of our lives. It's easy to feel like in order to grow up and take things seriously we need to be grave and understand just how hard things are, but that only seems - at least for me - to stress me out and make me feel like I'm in a prison.
You know another thing that makes me feel like I'm in a prison? Fear of man. That might sound funny, but it's when all of the sudden you go from invisible to openly admired, and people suddenly have expectations of you. Even if the expectations are easy to meet, it is still terrifying in a way. It feels like there is no longer the freedom just to dance along life's path, because now there are other people to please. Another level to this bitter cake, another bar on this prison gate, is social expectations. There is almost a sense of freedom when no one notices you, no one reads your blog, or even when a lot of people specifically care. Except for the general reputation of being honest, helpful, and mature and even friendly, there is not a detailed list of reputable expectations people have for you, so a mistake is more easily forgiven. It's easier to be yourself. That all changes when the stage light is thrown on you. The details seem to matter and there seems to be a socially and politically correct way of doing things that may not align with who God made you to be. That feels like a prison to.
Worse than a prison, sometimes. I like to have the freedom to move. I don't like wearing constraining, tight fitting clothes that hurt. I hate it! I don't wear those clothes. I want to be able to move my body and my limbs comfortably, without being constrained by the clothes I wear. The "prison" I was talking about often feels like tight clothes. That is arguably even worse than a straight jacket. Why? Because for goodness sakes no one in their right mind WANTS to wear a straight jacket, but constraining clothes has it's pro's and cons. For instance, they may be stylish. They may be stylish even when they are appropriate and not immodest. So, it's a desirable prison? Believe it or not, that is actually an accurate analogy. People want to fit in, yet, fitting in at the expense of yourself is like a prison. It's a prison that hurts to stay in and hurts to leave (though leaving gives ultimate freedom in the end).
Fitting in isn't bad, it's fitting in at the expense of who God made you to be. Today I realized I was trading in the joy of being myself for fear of man and what they thought of me. I felt like I had to explain just how stressful my life was so that people would be impressed and respect me as someone way ahead of the game. I felt like I couldn't talk to that person because that's just not what people do. I couldn't be happy all the time because I might come across like Pollyanna.
I'm not sharing this because I want to talk about myself a whole bunch. I am sharing this because I honestly think that there are a lot of people who feel this way. You are not alone! And this is what I realized. Who cares what people think of you as long as God thinks well of you? People and their opinions are not only temporary, but fickle. You can please them for awhile, at best, but not forever. As for the impressing people. I began to ask myself, why am I complaining about having so much responsibility and things to do? I personally like having a busy-on-the-go and even slightly stressful - in a good way (I don't know a better word) - life, but complaining about it was taking away the joy of having a lot of activity. Besides, there are thousands of people in the world. They each have their own trials to overcome. I don't have to try and impress people and neither do you. Be yourself and your strengths will shine through! Lastly, as long as it is a appropriate times - like not at a serious business meeting or at a funeral - why not be happy? Why not smile and try to brighten people's day? Even if they look at you like you are weird, they may end up having a better day for it.
If you relate to any of this, you are not alone. We are not alone. In the end, it really doesn't matter what anybody else thinks of you, wants of you, or anything, it only matters what God thinks of you, wants of you, and made you to be. Quite honesty, we'll all be happiest when we are who He wants us to be, even if it hurts a little to get there!
God bless you all,
Your Sister in Christ,
Lynsi Keye
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