William James

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind."

Among the Oil Derricks: Chapter 1

PROLOGUE

“Hades,” a brusque voice broke the monotone sound of a keyboard typing continuously.

The man behind the computer glanced up. “Dr. Seth, it’s been awhile.”

“Hardly two months,” corrected the visitor, “Are you still doing what you’re best at?”

“What am I doing now?”

“Then I won’t keep you. Uh… once you’re done for the night, come down and see me at my new office. I’ve a mind to start working together again.”

“Do you?” Hades challenged.

“Provided it sounds good to you,” the doctor added quickly.

“What sounds good?” asked Hades suspiciously.

“Are you in?” insisted the doctor.

“What’s it about?”

“It’s what we were wanting in the beginning.”

“Lucrative?”

“And creative enough for both our arts!”

“I guess I can’t turn that down.” Hades leaned back in his chair.

“Great, here’s my card. Don’t leave it around.” Dr. Seth held out a small card.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” the man muttered taking the card and scanning it with his eyes, “Wait! It’s all the way in New Mexico!”

“You plane leaves in two days. Your ticket you’ll find on the table in your apartment.” The doctor informed coolly.

“You broke into my apartment?” Hades asked with annoyance.

“It couldn’t have been easier to open the front door. For the sort of work you’re in, my friend, you really ought to have a safer apartment. Anyway, my flight leaves tonight. I will see you in two days then.”

“My job - “ he began to protest.

“Get it done quickly then. We need to get started.”

“Fine, you owe me.” he grumbled.

“And will be repaid amply. Good bye.” Dr. Seth turned to go.

“Bye.”

CHAPTER 1

----- Four Years Later ----

Shouts of movie crew men filled the field. “Over here!” “Over there!” “I need a go-for guy!” “Where’s the director?” “Perfect!” setting up for the scene to be filmed. The New Mexican sun was high warming up the air uncomfortably. Several actors stood over by the house reading the last minute changes and getting in character and mopping their brows with handkerchiefs before the scene.

In front of the little white ranch house was a long railed porch with a bench on the left of the door and a swing bench on the right. Several young foster children huddled on the bench shyly watching the celebrities. There was one boy however who sat almost defiantly away from the others, his arms crossed, on a swinging bench, indifferent to the ‘oohs’ and ‘ahs.’ He was a young boy with red blonde long-ish hair and river blue eyes and freckled. At first glance he looked somewhere between eleven and thirteen.

Sitting with the others was a girl. She sat at the end anxiously glancing at the boy from time to time as though wanting to talk to him. Finally, seeming to gather up enough courage, she hopped off the bench and trotted over to him deaf to an older girl’s “Satie!”

“Drake,” the little dark blonde girl asked in a meek voice, “Drake, will you take me to meet one?” Her hands were clasped in front of her and she gazed at him pleadingly.

The boy jumped off the swing carelessly, “They are busy, Satie, they can’t be introduced. But, tell you what, I’ll take you riding so we can watch them film from the overlook. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Satie said slowly trying not to hang her head, “I would like that.” But the disappointed look on her face wasn’t missed by the older boy.

“Okay, Satie, common, I’ll take you to meet an actor, but they’re just actors,” Drake caved.

“Oh, thank you, Drake, thank you!” the little girl grabbed Drake’s hand and followed him as he took her over to the actors and actresses dressed in their old-west clothes.

Standing nearest was a handsome young actor in his mid-twenties. He was the main character for the movie. As soon as they came up he flashed a smile, put away his script and greeted them, “Hello there, how are you?”

“Good,” Drake answered callously with a judgmental glance up and down.

“Good,” Satie replied breathlessly gazing strictly at the actor’s deep blue eyes.

“Do you live here?” Satie nodded her head. “What’s your name?” He had a very friendly smile which Drake did not like.

“Satie Kuhn.”

“And yours?”

“Drake, sir,” the boy replied.

“Derek, we’re ready to shoot,” the director Roger Chandler called.

“That’s my call, nice to meet you two.” The actor turned and, joined by an actress with blonde hair, mounted the ready chestnut horse and prepared for the shoot.

“Bye!” Satie exclaimed.

“Bye,” Drake said dully, then with much more animation turned to Satie and said, “Do you still want to ride?”

“Yes, please!”

“If we hurry we can still watch them film!” Drake pulled her after him toward the stables a few yards away from the right side of the house. “You can ride without a saddle, can’t ya?” he asked Satie.

“You taught me,” she answered in her usual timid voice.

“Good,” Drake lifted her onto a beautiful white stallion that had been named Shadowfax after the horse in Lord of the Rings by a former foster child. He jumped on behind her and cantered out of the stable and onto the Carlsbad plains. The brush seemed a blur. Desert dust kicked up behind them in a huge cloud. Not a tree was to be seen for miles. There were hills and mounds and Drake intended to take them to one on which they could watch the shoot.

Satie’s blonde hair whipped back and Drake’s reddish-sandy hair ruffled. He loved the feel of the wind against his face. He felt free. For a brief moment, he felt free from his hate of everything, he felt free to love and be loved, he felt free from distrust. He trusted the stride of Shadowfax to take him without stumbling as far as he dared go, he trusted the wind to blow his cares away, he trusted Satie to cling to him like he was her brother, and he trusted himself to be able to be his sister’s keeper. It was everything he longed his whole life could be.

“Drake! Drake! Stop!” Satie fairly shrieked, “I can’t stay on!” Drake’s mind snapped back into reality as his arms instinctively closed around Satie’s waist to keep her seated while using his feet to stop Shadowfax. Just ahead of them was a large ditch that Shadowfax could easily jump over, but Satie would not be able to hold on, Drake knew.

Satie began falling despite all Drake could do. “Sate, trust me,” Drake murmured, allowing her to slip, but guiding her safely to the ground. Shadowfax cantered a couple yards past where Satie fell before Drake turned him around. “See,” his spiteful self hissed in his head, “you can’t even trust yourself to watch over Satie!”

 “Are you alright,” Drake slid off the horse and held out a hand to the little girl.

Satie stood up, shaking all over, and dusted off her clothes. “My hands are scratched and so are my clothes,” she pouted.

“I’m sorry, here, let me lift you up.”

Sate stepped back and shook her head, “I don’t wanna ride anymore.”

“You have to,” Drake’s voice became quickly dry, “it’s too far back to walk. Let me help you up.”

Satie pursed her lips and let Drake lift her up. They both knew that Drake would win this argument if they had it. Satie didn’t think she’d get over it quickly like Drake assured her she would, but as soon as she saw the actors riding across the plains, her fall was forgotten.

 “Look, there they are,” Satie pointed, “Wow, look how fast Derek is riding! They’re shooting!”

“They are doing a posse scene,” Drake explained following the chase with his eyes.

“How do they not kill each other?” Satie asked with wide eyes.

“They are using blanks,” he told her, “back in the editing they will use computers to CGI the bullets. See those people who fall? They are stunt people who are trained to know how to do the dangerous stuff without getting hurt. They don’t want their main actors getting injured.”

“Oh!” Satie replied in awe. Drake sighed as the hot sun beat upon them. He wanted to take off his shirt, but Satie had told him before she didn’t like it when boys did that. He smiled to himself. Sweet Satie.

Very soon, however, even he was laughing with the girl at the many little mistakes the actors and stuntmen made. One dropped his gun, another fell off his horse, several forgot their lines or places. She had gotten over her fear of someone hurting themselves by the second shot.

After a bit, Drake began to bore and his eyes wandered aimlessly over the flat lands. A distance away, movement caught his attention. What was that? His arms tensed. It was those men! What were they doing on the Carlyle’s land? Half of him wanted to spur Shadowfax towards them, but the realization that Satie wouldn’t understand and start screaming forced patience. It had been two hours, so Drake decided it was a good time to head back before he would not be able to control his anxiety anymore. They had watched over five re-takes. They were both very thirsty and hungry.

“Satie! Satie! Drake!” an older girl ran up, “Guess what?!”

“Judging from the symptoms, I would diagnose a degree 10 of fangirling, which would mean what you have to say most likely has something to do with the actors, and I would assume Derek, since he’s your celebrity crush.” Drake joked dryly helping his young charge off Shadowfax.

Lexie rolled her eyes and exclaimed to Satie, “Derek and Emilie are having dinner with us!” Satie squealed with delight and a moment later she and Satie were sprinting back to the house. Drake smiled ruefully and shook his head as he took the white horse into the stable. He was not amused with their foolishness as he called it. Nonsense of silly girls, he thought to himself.

“That’s a lovely horse you have there,” a voice commented from behind. Drake turned to see Derek. “What’s the name?”

“Shadowfax,” Drake grunted less gruff than before.

“Shadowfax, now I wonder where that name came from,” Derek laughed. Drake smiled apathetically. “Did you name him?”

“No, some other kid did. Our foster parents let us name some of the new horses sometimes.” Drake opened a stall door and led Shadowfax in.

“Have you named any?” Derek asked. The stable was large with many stalls. He passed several as he walked up the Shadowfax’s stall where Drake was.

The boy nodded. Closing the low stall door, he walked over to a darker horse in another stall, “This is Spero. I named him.” Spero was a strong looking dun quarter horse with a black mane and tail.

“Sparrow?” Derek repeated.

Drake nodded. He never bothered correcting people’s mistakes. “And this is Ama,” he motioned to a brown mare across the alley, “and this one is Pisti.” He patted a dappled grey Andalusian to the right of Shadowfax.

“Ama and Peesty?” Derek asked. Drake nodded. “Interesting names.” Drake didn’t say anything. “You named those three?”

“I was the only kid in the house when they came,” Drake explained coming back over to Spero and petting him fondly.

“What are the other names?” Derek asked, hoping to buy time to explore what Drake might like to talk about.

“This one is Snow White, Cinderella,” Drake stopped stroking Pisti and walked by the stables with the horses as he said their names, petting each one, “this one is Spice. Ten altogether. There was another horse that I named, a mare. I called her Alithia. She’s at the YMCA of the Rockies working, doing trail rides.”

“That is a pretty name, I know a girl named Alithia,” Derek remarked.

“Why aren’t you going back with the crew?” Drake asked abruptly.

“That scene was my last, now it’s all pick-ups for the other actors and all the other details,” Derek explained not liking the tinge of hostility in Drake’s voice.

“Computer editing, audio, putting together,” Drake shrugged relaxing again, “backstage stuff.”

“You could say that,” Derek replied slowly randomly petting the horse closest to him.

“I don’t watch many movies or play computer games. I prefer to be outside than sitting on a couch in a world made by somebody else directed by somebody else. Its bad enough not being able to direct my own life hardly without being a sitting zombie in front of someone else’s who you’ll never meet, never be like, and never relate to.” If Drake was surprised at his sudden outburst, Derek couldn’t tell from the look on his face. And if Derek was surprised at the outburst, Drake couldn’t tell either for the same reason. Both hid their surprise in a very composed manner.

The air became very awkward each pondering how to proceed when Derek remarked to avoid staying in it too long, “Have you met Emilie?” Drake shook his head. “She’s a horse lover too. She was one of the one of the lesser characters in the movie. She used to be a big time actress for awhile.” Drake didn’t seem very interested in talking anymore. Derek was disappointed, but he could tell he was listening. “She’s talked about wanting to be a park ranger at Carlsbad. Have you ever been?” He paused for an answer, but none came, so he continued. “She told me she went first when she was nine, again when she was sixteen, and several more times since then. Out of all the National Parks she’s been to, she said she would like to be a ranger at Carlsbad best.” Another pause. “She’ll probably like Shadowfax, she is a fan of the Lord of the Rings. She once told me that if the Glittering Caves Gimli found were more beautiful that the Carlsbad Caverns, they would have to be very beautiful indeed.” Drake nearly smiled here. “She also loves the oil derricks especially at sunset or sunrise.” The glowing look in Drake’s eyes told Derek he agreed. “I grew up around here, so I saw lots of that. I actually grew up around the oil derricks. My father drilled oil and we lived near the well.”

“Is it dinner time, Cole?” Drake suddenly asked as a boy around ten years old entered the stable.

Cole, a cute little boy with curly brown hair and brown skin, grinned sheepishly at the famous actor, “Yes.”

“Alright, we’ll… I’ll be right in.”

Drake ran out and washed his hands, Derek followed him, and they went into the house. There was a little sigh from the children when he came in. There were several comfy chairs in the living room which followed the foyer after one came in the front door. Despite this, all the three girls squeezed onto the the red couch Emilie was sitting on. Drake took a second glance. She was no longer blonde with blue eyes, she had dark brown hair with brown eyes. He realized she had been wearing a wig, but Drake’s eyes were drawn to her jewelry. She wore a Voyage of the Dawn Treader necklace, an anchor and rope bracelet, and  earrings that reflected light like raindrops. Her dark eyes sparkled as the two came in.

“I’ve always dreamed of being a famous actress,” Lexie was murmuring shyly, her legs were curled up on the couch as she gazed with a cheesy smile at Emilie, much to Drake’s disgust.

“Never stop dreaming, Lexie,” Emilie touched her hand, “and here is something to remember in all dreams of life - never do anything for renown, because renown is fickle. And never seek for security and worth from people because that will never come from something outside. God will give you worth and security no one else can.”

“Alright everyone, dinner time,” the friendly foster mother came into the living room, “to the table!” She was a full woman, full of joy. She had a broad, white smile and a motherly air. Her arms were open to anyone and her chest ready for all the tears a child could cry. The children filed into the dining room, followed by the actor and actress.

A delicious, steaming dinner of roast and mashed potatoes was set with glass plates and crystal clear glasses. Everyone was famished and eagerly waited for the dinner prayer to be said so they could eat.

“Drake, would you like to pray?” Mrs. Carlyle instructed rather than asked.

Drake’s stomach turned. No he did not! “Father God,” he began, “Thank you for this meal and thank you for Mrs. C’s wonderful cooking abilities and please bless this night and our guests. In Your name, Amen.” He swallowed quickly to wet his dry mouth.

“Very nice,” Mrs. Carlyle murmured smiling comfortingly at him. He knew she had purposely chosen him that night which frustrated him.

    “I’ve always dreamed of being beautiful,” a ginger headed girl named Rachel said in response to one of the conversations.

Derek laughed, “Every girl is the most beautiful girl in the world and every boy is the most handsome boy in the world, but I think that I am truly surrounded by the most handsome and most beautiful girls and boys I’ve ever met. Not because you have been photo shopped or have make-up, but because you are you and that is very special.”

“So don’t try being like everyone else, we have enough of that in Hollywood. You be you! Please!” Emilie encouraged.

Other than the prayer Drake didn’t say anything throughout the entire meal nor could his facial expressions be read. He was pleased with how nice the guests were, which was more than he could have said before about anyone attached to movies. “Where are you going next?” Mrs. Carlyle inquired.

“To Carlsbad Caverns,” Emilie replied, “I went to ranger school a while back, but wasn’t able to ranger because I had a movie. I am hoping to be able to ranger this time. Derek is coming with to see the park.”

“We’ve been down there a couple times,” Mrs. Carlyle remarked, “It is a very beautiful place.”

“It is one of my favorite parks,” Emilie told her with energy, “If I get a job down there, maybe I’ll see you sometime.”

“Maybe,” agreed Mrs. Carlyle, but Drake caught that something in her voice was sad.

“Common Cole, you wanna help me with the horses?” He stood up and said loudly.

“Aww… it’s Ben’s turn!” Cole cried.

“Whatever, I don’t need your guys’ help anyway,” Drake shrugged, “You wanna come, Ben, or are you staying?”

“Can I help you tomorrow?” The eight year old black haired dark eyed boy asked cautiously.

“I’m not going to stop you,” Drake responded nonchalantly.

“Can I come with you, Drake?” Emilie offered standing.

“Sure,” Drake smiled smugly. He wanted to know if she really knew about horses. He had a hard time seeing this beautiful actress mucking out stables.

“I’ll come, too!” Lexie jumped up.

“No you won’t,” Drake hissed under his breath. Lexie made a face at him and came along anyway. Satie followed by Cole and Ben tagged along behind.

“Will you come Derek?” Lexie asked hopefully just before they left the room.

“I don’t think so,” he replied, “I actually ought to be going pretty soon.”

“Oh,” Lexie looked disappointed, “please don’t go without stopping at the stable and saying bye!”

“Don’t worry, Emilie is coming with me, I have to!” Derek promised. Lexie smiled and followed the rest out.

“It must be a handful,” he remarked after they had gone, “to take care of six kids. Is Mr. Carlyle gone often?”

“Business trips, yes,” Mrs. Carlyle nodded, “recently they seem to have sky rocketed. Usually he likes to be here around the kids where he can to give them a father figure to look up to. Many of them don’t have any good examples.”

“Did Drake come from a ranch?” Derek asked.

“Oh no,” Mrs. Carlyle laughed, “He was found nearly starved under an Albuquerque bridge when they found him, I was told, but we never really know.”

“When was that?”

“Seven years ago?” Mrs. Carlyle shrugged, “As far as I know he has been in and out of foster care until his mom died several years ago when he was put into permanent foster care until he’s adopted. I don’t think he knew his dad. He doesn’t talk much, but that’s alright, it is his small piece of privacy he gets to keep to himself.”

“How long has he been here?”

“Almost nine months.”

“Is that normal to have kids that long?”

“No, but a month after he came a CPS agent came to take him to another home so we could have another child. Drake became very upset. He shouted at them saying they had finally brought him some place he likes and now they were trying to take him away again, probably to some cramp little house in the city that’d he’d hate. Then he ran off and rode away on Sparrow. He didn’t come back until the agent had gone. They decided he could stay. We expected to have him until he’s an adult, since he hasn’t seen anyone interested in adoption. You wouldn’t believe it, but Drake today is a huge and wonderful improvement from the Drake who first showed up at our door. He’s good around the house and generally likes playing the older brother to the younger kids. He hates any form of bullying, though I’ve had to scold him a time or two for his own.”

“I hope everything works out for him and all of them,” Derek said earnestly unsure how to respond to such a story. All those pity stories he had heard from his fellow actors about their deprived childhood now seemed like jokes. Mrs. Carlyle smiled dismally. “I - it’s a little late and Em and I want to get to Carlsbad tonight and settle in to our hotel rooms before it’s too late, so I guess I’d better get her.” Derek shoved his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

“It was a pleasure having you for dinner,” Mrs. Carlyle beamed politely, shaking his hand, “I hope you enjoyed yourself and have a pleasant visit.

“Thank you! I will!” A few minutes later he and Emilie were driving away with all the kids excluding Drake waving good bye.

The next morning everything was back to normal though Lexie seemed to have a more dreamy look on her face and would often stare off and not be aware of the real world until someone shook her. Ben and Cole were eager to help Drake with the horses, partly because they really enjoyed the horses and partly because they didn’t want to him be mad. Satie watched sweetly, helping with what she could, and begging Drake to take her riding that afternoon. For the most part he ignored her.

“No, Satie,” he told her coldly after a while, “No.” But she persisted imploringly. “Alright, alright, I’ll take you,” Drake shouted finally, throwing down a bundle of hay, “Stop nagging, Ashley!”

Satie started and said timidly looking at Drake with wide eyes as she shrank away, “My name’s not Ashley, I’m Satie.”

“That’s what I said,” Drake stated quickly. Satie shook her head. “That’s what I said, OK?” Drake’s voice rose again, “I never said Ashley, why would I call you Ashley. I – … I didn’t call you Ashley. You’re Satie.”

“I know,” Satie murmured, “I’m Satie.” Tears filled her eyes as she continued to shrink away slowly. Cole and Ben had frozen and were watching wide eyed. Drake glanced around then stormed out with a growl.

He just turned the house corner when he saw two men in suits on the porch. He stopped to listen. “Mr. Carlyle is not here,” Mrs. Carlyle was saying coolly, “but we are not interested in selling. Find someplace else!”

“You are losing money, ma’am, and soon the bank will claim your house and we will have it anyway,” the men told her, “We are offering you ample money for your little farmhouse, enough to buy a new one, move, and settle in.”

Drake clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. These were the men who were trying to take their home. After a few more minutes, the rude men finally turned and went down the path to the road. Mrs. Carlyle had gone back inside and closed the door. “Where to next?” one asked.

“The caverns, where else?” replied the taller one. Drake came out from around the corner and glared at them.

“Who are you glaring at?” The first man who seemed to be the subordinate of the duo snapped.

“You!” Drake answered angrily, “What are you doing here! She’s told you before! They’re not selling! Now get off this land or else!” The man was about to mockingly ask ‘else what’, but Drake grabbed a good sized stone and chucked it at the man. He ducked as the stone whistled less than an inch above his head. “You get off this land!” Drake shouted picking up another stone and throwing it, “Go somewhere else!” The two men took to their heels, Drake after them pelting them with all the stones he could find. “And don’t come back!” he shouted as they sped away in their car down the dirt road and onto the highway.

“Drake!” Mrs. Carlyle had come out of the house again, “Drake, what are you doing, you shouldn’t do that!” The boy turned to face her. His face sullen and angry. “I heard about what happened in the stables. I think you owe Satie and the boys an apology. Satie was frightened to tears and is still crying!”

Drake trudged up the porch stairs and into the living room where Satie was crying into a pillow. He opened his mouth to apologize when the door opened again. A social service agent stood there. “Satie’s mother has gone through the steps and can have her back,” she said, “she is ready for her today. Is she ready?”

“She will be in ten min-,” Mrs. Carlyle began.

Drake grabbed Satie’s hand and pulled her off the couch before they could say another word, “No she won’t! I promised to take her riding one last time!”

“That can’t happen,” the social worker protested, “her family is waiting for her.”

“They’ve waited this long, they can wait a little longer,” Drake exclaimed pleadingly.

But she shook her head. “They are a long way away and we need to leave soon.”

Satie had gotten over her fright and now held Drake’s hand for comfort. Mrs. Carlyle instructed Drake to help Satie bring down her things. Satie followed him as he led her to her room. He was surprised to see that she was already packed. “Did you know you were going? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Satie was puzzled, “I didn’t know you didn’t know. I’ve seen a suitcase so often, it doesn’t surprise me anymore.”

Drake looked at her sadly. “Sorry I got mad, sorry I didn’t take you riding,” he mumbled, “I should’ve.” He tried to hide his grinding teeth as he attempted to turn a deaf ear to the condemning voice cursed him and guilted him for his failures.

“I don’t want to go back,” Satie whispered interrupting, “I don’t want to go back. Mama was poor and we were always dirty and cold. The house never had enough food or blankets. And in the summer it was too hot! She would leave me for hours alone in the house. One night she didn’t even come home and the next day she smelled funny and acted weird and angry. She was angry a lot. I don’t like her and I don’t think she likes me!”

Drake sighed, “Most of us come from families like that, Sate. You’ll just have to grow up to do better, I guess. Don’t get all messed up if you can help it, get yourself out of that mess. You might even try praying, you are young enough to try.”

“I pray every night,” Satie said.

“Don’t ever believe you are too old for it,” Drake told her, “now let me help you with your suitcase. Anything else you want?”

“Yes,” Satie became shy again, “why did you call me Ashley.”

Drake paused then with effort said, “Because… you remind me of her.” He forced a comforting smile and took her out to the waiting toyota. It was time to say goodbye. Drake he hugged her and reminded her to keep her head up. The sun was going down when the car drove away with Satie. Drake stood staring after it long after it disappeared. Finally he made his way to the stables, saddled up Spero and went riding. Where he went, none of the household knew, not even Satie knew where Drake went and spent his hours. They just assumed he rode, stopped for awhile, then rode again, until finally coming home again.

But this was not true. Drake had a secret place he kept all to himself. He called it The Sanctuary. The Sanctuary was a deep, hidden cave he had found one day soon after coming. Except by major chance, it could not be found unless it was known. This was where he went now. It was several miles away from the derricks near the farmhouse. There was a little hill he had to go over, so that no one ever saw where he went.

George Bernard Shaw

"You see things, and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; an I say, "Why not?""

Update

Hi everyone!

So, yes, I've been posting on Sunday rather than Monday. I have a lot to do on Mondays, so sometimes I post it early in case I don't have time to do it Monday.

I hope you've liked my short stories and that short series (meaning posted weekly) story. I have another one coming up. I think I will be able to post it this coming Monday, but it may be pushed off to the next coming Monday/Sunday. It will take at least thirteen weeks to post completely. Each chapter will be posted either Sunday or Monday. It is called Among the Oil Derricks.

It is about a young foster boy, Drake, a moody child who is almost a teenager and likely never to be adopted. When everything he cares about is lost, he's about ready to give up on God and take things into his own hands to stop the people in his way when an actor named Derek comes across his path. Derek is a mainstream actor who has decided to try to turn his life around, walk away from fame, and seek God, but not without difficulties. When everything in his life seems to fall apart, everything seems to point to returning to his old life as a good idea. It's time for them to make a choice whether they are going to trust their own wisdom or follow God despite the ruin it has led them into.

So, that's the preview. See you soon!

-Lynsi Keye

Across the Water

It was a warm day, as it usually was in South Vietnam, and I traveled across the country. I was going to see my father and show him my new daughter. Her father was an American who had lived here before the war. I could only gather that he was there to escape his nagging, drunkard wife. I had met him while serving as a waitress and we were mutually attracted and the next thing I know I have a daughter. He is gone now. He left for America. He promised me he would come back, but how many do? So many women are promised that their boyfriends will come back for them, but as soon as they return to American, their wives and girlfriends in Vietnam are forgotten, not to mention not recorded. I could not wait for him. His friend was an attractive young man and I now dated him. But it was dangerous to be associated with American in these days. The North Vietnamese were brutal to anyone they thought so much as spoke to an American. What would happen to me if they found me with a half-American daughter? I could only wonder as I came into a small village and saw people running about, fleeing in terror. The North Vietnamese were arriving. In my city clothes, I looked like a building in a field. I would draw attention. Without a second thought I ducked into an abandoned hut and found some village clothes. I changed. Now for my daughter. Bending down, I picked up some dirt and rubbed it on her face until she was dark. There! Peeking outside, there was more bustle, but I didn't see any soldiers. Quickly, I hurried outside and carefully made my way away from the village. It was would be many miles before I could breath deeply. "Nghỉ," someone shouted at me. My heart shook with fear as I obeyed. "Bạn và có thì bạn sẽ là ai?" the soldier asked me when he reached me. "Tôi Thi và tôi đến thăm cha tôi," I explained who I was and where I was going, praying he would not inspect my daughter closer. "Bạn đã thấy bất kỳ người Mỹ hay kẻ thù?" He asked if I had seen any Americans or enemies - South Vietnamese soldiers. I shook my head calmly explaining I had not seen any. "Đi vào sau đó," the soldier ordered me on. I obeyed, grateful that my other daughters and sons were not there. Back home in the city I  had left my three daughters and two oldest sons from my first husband. He died fighting the North Vietnamese in the war. I had been well off with him, but now I had to provide for all my children on my own. It was a hard life, but I was not the sort to waste time feeling sorry for myself. We all have our struggles. I reached my father with no worse event and made it back to the city safely only to realize that I was pregnant again, this time with my new boyfriend's child. I could not let my pregnancy take away from my work, so I went on my travels again to gather supplies to sell as usual. I did not feel well about this journey. My baby was due any time and the North Vietnamese were ever close. The time came for me to give birth. My child was a son. Around the same time the soldiers arrived in the village. I ran with the villagers into a cave to hide. We were all terrified. I was still bleeding from giving birth. "Có ai trong đó không?" (Is anyone in there?) someone shouted. We were too afraid to answer. "Lên tiếng hoặc tôi sẽ ném một quả lựu đạn!" (Speak up or I will throw grenade!). "đợi!" I cried, "Wait!" The villagers stared at me as I ran out. I could not allow fear to hold me back now. Thinking quickly, I explained, "Xin vui lòng! Chúng tôi nghĩ rằng bạn là người Mỹ và trốn bởi vì chúng tôi đều sợ hãi. Không có người Mỹ ở giữa chúng ta, chỉ có nông dân Việt Nam." I told them we had thought they were Americans and hid because we were afraid. There were no Americans among us, I assured. Satisfied, the soldiers went away. I quickly finished buying my supplies and returned to the city with my new born son. I was almost back to the city when I stopped to rest. Near me I noticed a dying American soldier. My heart moved. There was nothing I could do for the poor young man, except... the sun was shining in his eyes uncomfortably. I glanced around. There was no one near. I took a giant leaf fallen from a tree and covered his eyes. At least he might die in more comfort if there was nothing else I could do. If a North Vietnamese soldier had seen me do that, he would have shot me. Finally, I was back in the city. My half-American daughter was named Xay May. Before her father returned to America, he wanted her to have at least one Vietnamese name, so we called her Xay, but I wanted to give her an American name, so we also called her May. That was the name we called her now. She was a wild little girl. When she was two, she would chase other little children away from our yard. She did not like them on our tiny yard. In the house we had not beds, only mats to sleep on. Professional photographs to remember the beauty of youth is easy to save up for, on the other hand. Two years went by since May was born when there was a knock on the door. By then I had another son. I opened the door and standing before me was May's father! He brought forth plane tickets not just for May and myself, but enough for at least four of my other children, too. He had worked long and hard those years mowing grass and anything else he could do to buy the tickets for all of us. He did not know about my younger children. There was nothing else to do and certainly nothing for me here. I broke up with his friend, I did not know if he would do what May's father had done and keep his promises to care for me. My two older sons were old enough to take care of themselves, but I could not leave my daughters behind unprotected. I was cried when I left my youngest sons at the orphanage, but nothing else could be done. With May and my three older daughters, we flew to America to live. Years later my oldest son and one of my younger sons came to America. My oldest took care of me while I took care of my younger son's daughter. My other son is doing well in Vietnam and in America I am still surrounded by my family. It was not easy to come to America, poverty stricken and without knowledge of the language. May's father drank a lot and although we eventually separated, I never divorced him, and when he grew old and died, I was sorry and received the flag with reverence at his memorial service. I keep it at my house, displayed among the pictures of my numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren. We all had our flaws and problems, some we could not live with, but at the same time, we all had our hearts that did it's best to shine through all our sins holding us back. I could not ignore his abuse, but I forever acknowledged as well his kept promises and good heart underneath. Many women were left behind. Many families were torn apart. Many hearts were broken. I lived in a dangerous world, but it did not affect my humanity. I thank God that He allowed me not to lose my family. I still have contact with all my children. I am still surrounded by my daughters, sons, and many grandchildren who care for me. He took care of me and has blessed me throughout all of life's trials and miseries and I plan to live long and strong as He continues to give me strength and joy.

(Based on a true story)